You've seen it done in the movies and probably even in public the French kiss, a timeless and passionate gesture of romantic affection where partners kiss while using their tongues. Whether you live in Paris, France or Paris, Texas, you can learn how to kiss like the French do without an embarrassing faux pas! If you want to know how to French kiss, see Step 1 to get started.
i.
Keep
your lips soft.
A soft, smooth, and slightly moist
mouth is ideal for kissing. Before you move in, you should make sure your lips
aren't chapped or dry so your partner isn't distracted or put off by the state
of your lips. If you want to soften your lips before you go in for the kiss,
you should try these quick fixes:
Use Chap Stick. Swipe some over your
lips and press them together. (If you're a girl and you have flavored Chap
Stick, all the better!) The only caveat is that you should apply lip balm or
gloss an hour or more before you kiss, so your kissing partner feels your soft
lips, not the thick layer of gloss over them.
Drink water. Dry lips are a sign of dehydration,
so throw back a tall glass of water (or two). You should notice your lips
starting to smooth out within 20 to 30 minutes.
Lick
your lips. If you're really
in a pinch and have no time to spare, quickly run your tongue over your lips
and press them together. This should moisten them slightly without making them
slobbery or slick. You can even lick your lips a bit subtly while making eye contact
with your kissing partner.
ii. Freshen your breath.
You never want to have bad breath
when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not.
Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good
dental hygiene. If you know you are about to kiss someone, take a second to
brush your teeth or at least rinse out your mouth with water.
Always have breath mints or
mint-flavored gum with you if you think there is a chance you might kiss
someone while you are out. If you want to be subtle, you can quickly suck on a
breath mint or chew gum for a minute in the bathroom, so you don't make it too obvious that you're ready to
kiss.
Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant
aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, coffee, onions, milk, and corn. If
you're on a dinner date before the big kiss, try to eat strategically.
iii. Find the right moment.
A good kiss especially a first kiss
or first French kiss is the culmination of a building tension and growing
intimacy. Choose your moment right to make sure you and your partner are both
in a mindset to really lose yourselves in the kiss. You should have privacy and
should both be feeling romantic instead of stressed or distracted, for one
thing.
When is the moment right?
It depends on your individual
situation, but here are a few signs to keep in mind:
You
have complete privacy.
Whether you're alone on your balcony or sitting on a secluded bench in a park, you're
not worried that someone will interrupt you.
The other person keeps dropping
hints, like locking eyes and looking at your lips, or standing or sitting
progressively closer to you. Whether you are kissing a boy or a girl, their body language should give
you a clue about whether now is the right time to make your move.
You're
ending a date that went really well.
In the car or on the porch are both good semi-private locations for a goodnight
kiss.
It
just seems right. If
you feel overwhelmingly compelled to kiss someone, don't be too afraid to just
go for it. (Just be prepared for an awkward or even troubling situation if you
discover your intended didn't feel the same way.)
Ask. If you aren't sure whether the
other person is feeling it, bring up the topic. Better to get permission
semi-awkwardly and go ahead with confidence than risk missing out on your
chance to kiss that special someone (accidentally kiss someone who isn't
interested).
iv. Make eye contact.
Gaze deeply into the other person's
eyes. If you want to make your intentions extra clear, slowly move your gaze to
his or her lips, then back up to the eyes. You can even make intense eye
contact, break it for a few seconds, and then look back at the person. This is
a way of showing the person you want to kiss that you're pleasantly overwhelmed
at the sight of him or her.
Girls can even look at a guy, look
down, and then look up through their lashes to be extra flirtatious.
v. Smile.
If you're really excited about the
prospect of kissing the other person, show it! A smile keeps the situation
light and fun, while helping him or her feel safe and relaxed. Make sure your
smile is soft and genuine, however, and not a forced, too-wide, or overly
intense smile. Just slowly and languidly ease your lips into a smile. Show your
future-kissing partner how happy you are to be in his or her company. Continue
to make eye contact as you do this, or break it for a few seconds before you
return it.
You can opt for a close-lipped smile
instead of smiling while showing your teeth, which might come off more as
friendly than alluring or romantic.
Vi. Break the touch barrier.
Once you're alone with the person
you like and you're smiling and making eye contact, you can decide if you want
to go in for the kiss without touching, or if you want to break the touch
barrier first. This can mean sitting with your legs touching, holding hands,
putting your hand on the person's knee, stroking the person's arm, or just
giving a sign of affection. If you've kissed the person on the lips before, then
breaking the touch barrier may feel more natural for you, and you should make
an effort to touch the person before you touch lips so both of you feel more at
ease.
You can also break the touch barrier
as you're moving in to kiss the
person. If you're standing, you can touch the person's arms, neck, or shoulders
as you move in for the kiss. If you're sitting, you can put a hand on the
person's back.
vii. Move in.
When the moment seems right, go in
for the approach. In general, you should be moving slowly enough that the other
person has time to say no, but not so slow that the moment loses its spark.
When you start to get the feeling that your kissing partner is ready for the
next step, you shouldn't dilly-dally. Move your body toward his or her body
until your heads are just a few inches apart. That's when you'll have to start
angling your head for the best kissing position.
Take it slow. The slow approach
builds tension and anticipation. Move in at a pace that gives the other person
a chance to consent (or not). When they see you coming in, they may move to
meet you, so going slow will prevent you from accidentally bumping heads.
viii. Tilt your head slightly to
one side.
Meeting head-on will result in
bumping noses. Instead, just tilt your head slightly to the left or right. If
you notice the other person going in one direction, pick the opposite. Don't
put too much pressure on yourself to do this perfectly. If you and your partner
end up kissing each other head-on and bumping noses a bit, then you'll
naturally adjust your heads into a more comfortable position, where your noses
aren't in the way.
Unlike what you may think from the
movies, this doesn't have to happen in slow motion. You'll tilt your head as
you move closer to the person, not at a snail's pace, so you don't have to
worry about having the time to get it perfect.
ix. Close your eyes.
Just before you make contact, close
your eyes. Kissing with your eyes open is generally associated with dishonesty
and insincerity, and keeping your eyes closed will help you focus on and enjoy
what's happening on your lips. Also, while you may be tempted to open your eyes
to see what your kissing partner looks like in the throes of passion, this
could actually unexpectedly make you crack up or not feel in the mood to kiss
anymore. Closing your eyes can also help you focus on your mouth and to live in
the moment, instead of trying to observe everything that's happening at close
range. You can slowly open your eyes later, when you pull apart after the kiss.
x. Keep your mouth in a kissable
position.
Don't present a stiff pucker, like
you would if you went in to kiss your grandma not only does it communicate
non-romantic feelings, but also it makes it physically difficult for your
partner to initiate a French kiss. On the other hand, keeping your mouth
completely loose and still also says that you're not interested. Here's how to
hit a happy medium:
Pucker
just a little. Push
your lips forward slightly, so that you feel the slightest hint of muscle
tension around them.
Open
your mouth slightly.
Instead of aggressively going in for a fully open-mouthed kiss at first, keep
your lips just barely parted enough that a tongue could slip between them.
1. Lightly brush your lips over the
other person's.
Use feather-light pressure at first,
so that your lips are just barely grazing over your partner's. This builds more
anticipation and excitement than diving straight into a full-on French kiss.
This also signals to your partner that you may want more without being too
forward about it.
Keep
your movements slow. A
lot of quick, light kisses don't have the same level of sexiness as a
barely-restrained build in tension. Act like you have all the time in the world
the kiss will speed up soon enough.
2. Test the waters.
Once you've built a solid foundation
for a French kiss with some tongue less kissing, you can give the other person
some subtle hints that you're ready to take it up a notch. In general, if it's
your first time kissing the person, you should be a bit cautious before
initiating a French kiss, because this may come off as too much too soon.
But beyond that, here are some
things to keep in mind as you test the waters to signal that you're ready to
kiss with your tongue:
Open
your mouth more widely.
Offering unrestricted access invites the other person to make the first
tentative tongue contact.
Lock
lips, so that the other person's lower
lip is between your two lips. Then, lightly sweep the tip of your tongue over
the lower lip. Do one smooth, swift motion so that the contact lasts for less
than a second. If he or she is interested, they'll reciprocate.
Know
when to pull back. If
you've tried both of the above techniques and your partner hasn't responded,
simply leave it alone until next time and focus on regular kissing. Avoid
making a big deal of it, or guilting him or her.
3. Explore with your tongue.
If the other person seems
interested, go ahead and start French kissing for real. Remember to keep your
tongue in motion and your touches light. First, just slowly slide your tongue
into your partner's mouth. You can either begin by placing it above or below
your partner's tongue, or even move it around the tongue a bit if you're
feeling more bold. Just make sure your partner's tongue is reciprocating your
actions so you're not just kissing a limp tongue, or the romance will dissipate
pretty quickly. Here are some things to keep in mind as you explore the French
kiss:
Stay
playful. "Tag"
the other person's tongue lightly and retreat back, inviting him or her to make
the next move.
Tongues are loaded with nerve
endings, and the mere act of touching your partner's tongue with your own will
be very pleasant.
Don't go too deep jamming your
tongue down the other person's throat is a big turn-off. Stay shallow and light
at first. See how far your partner wants to go, and follow suit.
4. Breathe.
If you’re kissing for an extended
period, it’s easy to forget to breathe. Believe it or not, gasping and turning
blue isn't very romantic. You may think that a truly passionate kiss involves
many minutes of non-stop kisses, but if you really want to up the romance
factor, then you have to stay alert and conscious. Once you fall into a rhythm,
you should be able to find a suitable pattern for breathing without
interrupting the flow of your kisses. Here's what you need to know:
Take
small breaths through your nose as you kiss.
Don't be afraid to take a break. If
you do it right, it can still be an intimate and sexy moment. Pull back
slightly so that your foreheads are still touching, make eye contact, and
smile.
As you and your partner grow
comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little:
sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
1. Mix it up.
Kisses
are like snowflakes: no
two are exactly the same. Once you feel comfortable French kissing someone, it
is tempting to try to do the same thing every time, but you should resist if
you want to keep things interesting. You should be able to fall into a nice,
comfortable rhythm while adding enough variety from time to time to keep things
interesting. Here's what you can vary:
Speed: Varying the speed of your kisses is
a good way to try something different without potentially intimidating your
partner. Once you've got the slow kiss mastered, try going a little faster for
a few seconds it should leave you both a little breathless!
Depth: Once you're comfortable with
someone, try kissing a little more deeply. The key to pulling this off is
keeping your speed under control. Or, if you want things to be a little more
flirty and playful, return to shallow kisses.
Pressure: Like a deep kiss, a hard kiss
should be reserved for a situation in which you already know both you and your
partner are comfortable. Be a little bit more forceful with your tongue, but be
sure to keep it in motion.
Teeth: You may want to try rubbing the
backs or front of the other person's teeth with your tongue. This can create a
ticklish feeling that might enhance your kiss. You could also try lightly catching the other person's
lower lip with your teeth. Be aware, though, that not everyone likes their
kisses with a side of teeth be prepared to put your choppers away.
2. Use your hands.
While you should keep your hands
polite, especially on a first kiss, you don’t necessarily want them just
dangling at your sides. Using your hands and touching your partner's body
(while keeping it respectful) can enhance the romantic feeling of the kiss and
can make you and your kissing partner feel more connected. Once you make
contact with your partner's body, you can move your hands around gently from
time to time without being frantic about it. Here's what you need to know about
using your hands while you French kiss:
As a general rule, start with your
hands on your partner's hips and then slowly move them around their back or up
to the face and hair.
Another turn-on for the first kiss
is to gently caress the other person's shoulder. It shows you are comfortable
with him or her.
Cradle your partner's face with your
hands on their cheeks and their neck.
Or, go for an old standby: simply
wrap your arms around your partner in an embrace.
4. Read your partner's body language.
Everybody kisses a little
differently, and each person enjoys different things in a kiss there is no
"right" way to kiss. Good kissing requires give-and-take, so read
your partner’s body language and pay attention to clues that tell you you’re
doing something he or she likes. The most important thing is to make sure that
your kissing partner is comfortable with the pace of your kissing and
affectionate gestures.
Not everybody likes to be kissed the
same way, so while your former partner might have enjoyed one method of
kissing, your new love
might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a style that's
comfortable for each of you.
If your partner pulls away or seems
uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to slow it down.
Let your partner kiss you back, and
move with him or her as long as you’re comfortable with what he or she is
doing.
Listen for clues that tell how much your
partner is enjoying a particular maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan, or they
begin kissing you back with increased intensity, you're on the right track.
5. Practice.
Good French kissing, like good kissing
of any kind, requires practice. You will get better as you do it more. In
addition, the more practice you have with one person, the more comfortable you
will feel kissing them and developing a style that suits both of you. Just
because you may not have had a stellar first kiss doesn't mean that you and
your kissing partner are romantically doomed; have patience and keep kissing
slowly and gently until you fall into a rhythm that works for you.
Don't take yourselves too seriously,
either. If you tried something that just plain failed, it's okay to laugh, to
lightly apologize, and to try again. If you act devastated after a
disappointing kiss, you'll only be making things weird for your partner, and
there's no need for that.
Most first kisses, like most first
attempts at love making, aren't anything to write home about. Part of the fun
is getting better at it together.
6. Communicate.
If you really like the way your
partner kisses you, let him or her know. If you don't like something, also let
your partner know that, but approach it delicately and compliment them at the
same time on something they did that you liked. If you're partner is being
honest and open with you, try not to overreact or get hurt, or this may make
your partner feel hesitant to communicate with you in the future.
Even if the kiss goes all wrong, it
can still be an intimate affair if you can both laugh about it together! The important
thing is that you're both honest about how you're feeling and what you want to
do to improve.
You should also communicate by
telling your partner how attractive he or she looks, and how much you like him
or her. Make it clear how happy you are to be with the person you're with, and
the French kissing will come all the more naturally.
woman are sensitive gentleman
ReplyDeleteso whatever you do think about it before you do